by Daisy, @rapeconception
The 29th July 2021, was the start of a 3-day trial at Birmingham Crown Court. My birth father, Carvel Bennett, stood trial for the 1975 rape of my 13-year-old birth mother. On the 2nd August 2021 he was convicted of rape. The jury took less than 2 hours to reach a guilty verdict. He received an 11-year sentence, finally after 46 years of living free, able to abuse other children in Birmingham.
This trial was the culmination of nearly a decade of fighting systems that did not want to acknowledge me as a victim of this crime. Despite my requests, the West Midlands Police force did not see fit to look into whether an evidence-based prosecution could be undertaken to spare my birth mother the trauma of making a statement or giving evidence at trial. There was clear disclosure on file, and my birth father was named, yet no prosecution apparently due to lack of evidence. The local authority, Birmingham City Council, did not see fit to make any investigation into the allegation of rape, clearly documented by the allocated social worker at the time and therefore absolved themselves of any child protection and safeguarding responsibilities by re-directing me back to the police force who had deemed my complaint about the lack of an investigation as ‘vexatious’.
My fight for justice began after high profile historic/non-current prosecutions against well-known males were taking place, namely Jimmy Savile. I felt it was time to seek a prosecution in my own right. There was documented evidence in Birmingham City Council social care files, the files indicated a police investigation had taken place and that police, social care and health professionals were aware of the rape. I myself was DNA forensic evidence of this crime, evidence that was not available in 1975, although a paternity test could have been undertaken if authorities had shown willing to want to prosecute this man, obtain justice for my birth mother and myself, in addition to protecting children from Birmingham from further abuse.
Rape conception appears to be one of the last taboos in relation to VAWG; rarely is it spoken about. Rape conception is often used as a trope in TV and film drama; the perception of the rape conceived as a ‘bad seed’, commonly used
Rape conception appears to be one of the last taboos in relation to VAWG; rarely is it spoken about. Rape conception is often used as a trope in TV and film drama; the perception of the rape conceived as a ‘bad seed’, commonly used. Since exploring and trying to seek specific support and advice for over twenty years ago, there has been a dearth of research, support and advice for those affected by rape conception. Rape conception is raised in relation to the abortion debate most often, aside from this, those conceived from rape are often invisible. In order to adequately understand the impact of rape conception it is necessary to be able hold both the position of the mother and the child. Both have been impacted, and both positions are nuanced.
For those of us who are rape conceived it is a huge struggle to come to terms with your paternity and in turn one’s sense of self and identity, sense of belonging and sense of worth. My message to anyone impacted is that we are innocent in all of this, yet we are left to carry the stigma and shame of the act of violence that created us, but this is not ours to carry. However the lack of recognition and silence around this topic makes it so much harder to address this for individuals.
Across the world rape is used as a weapon of war; Bosnia, DRC, Rwanda, for example. During these conflicts women have been in the horrific position of having to give birth to these babies. There have been incidents of babies being killed at birth, children can be abandoned and often when kept their mothers are stigmatised in the community and for some women, huge difficulties in providing maternal care, bonding and attachment due to the horrific circumstances. Research has also shown, however, that many women who have conceived in rape express a deep love and connection with their child and able to separate the act of rape from the child that they love.
In Bosnia, children born of war are not recognised as victims and this has led to them facing discrimination as they do not have the necessary parental information for documents to access various services; applications to university etc. An NGO, ‘Forgotten Children of Bosnia’ has been formed by adults conceived in rape to lobby their government to get recognition in law and in wider society. One member of the NGO, Alen Muhic, was adopted as a baby after being abandoned by his birth mother. He sought to find out who his birth parents were and to seek justice against his birth father, who he stated had committed a war crime of rape. Similar to myself, he was eventually able to trace birth both parents and his birth father was forced to undergo a DNA test, when this proved positive, his birth father was convicted.
There are of course many other circumstances in which rape conception features, another area in which rape conception and sexual exploitation is prevalent is within the international aid sector in which aid workers and UN peacekeepers, for example, have fathered hundreds of children. Both mothers and children are then left traumatised, stigmatised and in poverty.
There is still a lack of research in terms of how many women have been impacted by rape conception in the UK. The statistics around the child benefit ‘rape clause’ give a small indication. In July 2020 it was stated that 243,000 households containing 911,000 children were affected. The clause is an exemption from the child tax credit benefit cap. It means that mothers have to prove if any additional children are conceived in rape. A clause that MP Alison Thewliss from the Scottish National Party started was “one of the most inhumane and barbaric policies ever to emanate from Whitehall”. My question is aside from the additional benefits, where’s the emotional and mental health support for these families in relation to rape conception?
There should not be a question as to whether rape conceived children are victims of their mother’s rape. We understand the brutality and degradation of rape as a violent act. We have a growing understanding on trauma, epigenetics and the neurological effects of pre-birth trauma on babies. For some, of course, not all mother’s will not only be dealing with the impact of rape but also complex feelings in relation to their unborn child, decision-making as to whether to continue the pregnancy and of course, the ability to bond and attach to the child once born. It doesn’t stop there. Survivors of rape and sexual assault can find the birthing process itself triggering and traumatic. I myself have supported a woman during a birth who had a horrific flashback of a childhood rape during her labour. What support is there for post-birth women and babies where bonding and attachment is adversely impacted by rape conception?
When I reflect on my birth mother, she was a 13-year-old child rape victim, who was told she was ‘disgusting’ by medical ‘professionals’ for being a pregnant rape victim, she also concealed her pregnancy for the first 7 months. We then experienced the trauma of separation. In essence, I do not have a non-traumatised version of myself due to my pre-birth experience and subsequent separation and yet not deemed a victim?
Another woman whose story has featured in the media is Tasnim Lowe, like me she is conceived in rape. Tasnim’s mother was 13 when she met Tasnim’s father who was 10 years her senior. At 14 she became pregnant with Tasnim, the father known to be involved in grooming young girls in Telford. Tragically Tasnim’s mother, aunt and grandmother were all killed in a fire started by Tasnim’s father. He was convicted of three charges of murder and attempted one murder. He, however, was never convicted of sexual offences against Tasnim’s mother, despite evidence in the mother’s diaries, and like me, Tasnim is DNA evidence of her mother’s rape. If her father is ever released on parole, he will have no child sex offences against him for what he did, and therefore be a risk to the public on release. Her story is captured in the BBC 3 documentary “Why dad killed mum” on iPlayer.
I truly believe that racism was a huge factor both in my birth mother’s treatment in the mid-70’s but also my treatment by authorities since 2014….Systemic racism and oppression are prevalent in relation to our treatment
In my case, I truly believe that racism was a huge factor both in my birth mother’s treatment in the mid-70’s but also my treatment by authorities since 2014. We know that black, Asian and minority ethnic women are discriminated against within the criminal justice system. Systemic racism and oppression are prevalent in relation to our treatment. In relation to sexual abuse, we know that issues such as the adultification of black girls (Jahnine Davis’s study “Where are the Black girls in our CSA services, 2020) is another barrier for visibility, understanding and support for victims and survivors, and racism within the VAWG sector has been identified as an issue. Secrecy and shame are a huge factor in all communities in relation to child sexual abuse and theory of cultural betrayal is one is to report the abuser from your community is another layer adding to the lack of disclosure.
We are clear that rape is severely underreported, that rape charges and convictions are at an all-time low, so is it not right that all aspects of the law are used to seek prosecutions against offenders and look to use all aspects of the law to seek justice and provide greater protection to the wider society. This is why I will be campaigning for the legal definition of victim to be extended to those conceived in rape, for the greater use of evidence-based prosecutions in these cases where there is a wealth of corroborating evidence such as in my case, and for agencies providing advice and support to victims and survivors to provide specialist support to both families and those specifically conceived in rape to address the potential lifelong impact of this experience. It certainly does not make sense to me that an online paedophile hunter can ‘entrap’ a potential predator and this evidence can be used for the police for prosecutions, yet I have been invisible in the criminal justice system as a victim, and therefore no action could be taken against my birth father without the participation and re-traumatisation of my birth mother and the subsequent negative impact that the investigation and trial has had on our relationship.
Section 3 of the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 says that children are also victims of domestic abuse; why can that not be an amendment to include children conceived in rape? The personal impact of being rape conceived on me, is clear to understand in my Victim Personal Statement. It is clear that legislation needs to change in order that our society is made safer for women and girls.
I hope that you will join me on this campaign in order that real action can be taken for greater protection against those most vulnerable in our society by seeking justice and using the law to prosecute a greater number of abusers.
Please read my Victim Personal Statement
You can support my campaign here: https://www.crowdjustice.com/case/forgotten-victims