by Respondent Mother
I made this comic to express how private law proceedings in the family court as a survivor of domestic abuse left me feeling trapped and isolated. I left my abuser because staying with him was not an option. But at a low point in the process, I wondered if I could have better protected my child from inside those four walls. I drew it for anyone forced to ‘facilitate contact’ between their child(ren) and their abuser, despite the huge personal cost of doing so. There are a lot of us out there.
The main character in the comic is white, able-bodied, has British citizenship and speaks good English. Even with these significant structural privileges, the judge and the abuser turn her world upside down. The child is left looking on. The comic ends on an ambiguous note. At the end of the court process, “you’re on your own. Women find ways to make it work”. But is “it” actually working at all? And if so, for whom?
In a written judgment in March 2022, President of the Family Division of the High Court, Sir Andrew McFarlane, described the co-parenting relationship between Princess Haya and Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum as “entirely bankrupt”. He noted the “impact that the need constantly to engage with the demands of this court process” had on the Princess. The demands of the court process left me questioning my sanity and wondering if I was the problem. But hearings take place behind closed doors and I’m not allowed to talk about my experience.
On 30 January, a 12-month reporting pilot started, taking place in the family courts sitting in Cardiff, Carlisle and Leeds. This is an opportunity for journalists and legal bloggers to report on what goes on, and hopefully bring more public attention to this area of law.
For how much longer will women be ordered to facilitate “entirely bankrupt” co-parenting arrangements? At what cost, and to what end?